Sunday, 1 February 2004

What does it all mean?

Had a real moment of existential angst on Friday night. Well, I had to, I was drunk.

Being drunk I questioned the meaning of existence, analysed the motivation of desires, addressed the refutation of the immortal soul and composed a letter to my unborn children concerning free will and logical positivism.

To be honest I came up with some pretty startling conclusions that shook the very bedrock of accepted philosophical thought and fused western rationalism with eastern mysticism to create a whole and radically new way of thinking and viewing the world.

I also sat in a puddle on the riverbank, which I grant you isn't quite in the same league and led to a frozen arse, but you can't have everything in moments of blinding insight.

Blinding insight also falls down in the face of rigour and looking back on what I can remember of my thoughts, I think I may have left something out. Or lots of things, who knows. Come to think of it, I don't actually know what logical positivism is, but it sounded like a very good thing to write to one's unborn children at the time and I came up with a very convincing argument for it (or perhaps against it).

But I did get to watch the moonset over the river, which was a first, and most beautiful it was to. Indeed it was better than a lot of the sunsets we get (and we get them almost everyday) so it was worth it for that at any rate. I think the moment of angst was rooted in reading Atomised by David Hollebecq, which is resolutely depressing. I don't know why I bother to read 'modern' novels as everytime I do they seem to depress me. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I'm reading the wrong books. But maybe I'm right and for a modern author to write about the state of the human pysche they have to look on it in the most negative way their storyline will allow them (i.e. Atomised - one bloke had a bad childhood, shags lots of women but can't love them, finds one he can love and she commits suicide; his half brother doesn't shag women at all, can't find anyone to love until he meets his childhood sweetheart, they are just about to try and be happy when she dies of cancer. First guy ends up in an asylum, half brother creates genetically engineered sexless 'humans' with no passions who inherit the earth. Laugh a minute, I think not.) Maybe I should get out more...

As you can guess, I'm scratching around a bit here for things to write. But at least we can talk about the...


Seem to be in reasonable fettle. A couple of weeks ago I blitzed the basil with some kind of chemical bug killer thing as the little white buggers were doing much damage and causing much angst. It seemed to work for a while, but I think little white buugers may be back with a vengeance so more Agent Orange may be called for.

But, the basil is flowering! I was most surprised by this at first as it didn't occur to me at all that basil should flower (but of course it should, it is a plant, I know that now). There seems to be quite a spread of little blossoms all over the basil patch so I am quite hopeful that things may continue to improve.

Today I hacked back the Olive tree a bit, just to see what happens. I have tried a little half-heartedly in the past and, to be honest, I haven't noticed a lot of change, so this time all the budding shoots were hacked back to the base to see what happens. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Lastly, back in Novembr I think, the Guru said she wanted flowers in spring, so tulips were duly bought. Just goes to show how much the Dutch know (or maybe the Japanese, depends where they're from I guess) as the tulips were sold under the name of 'Union Jack' but the picture was of a mainly white flower but with 4 red stripes going up the petals! Do these people know nothing?

Anyway the rosemary is still growing, as is the lavender. Soon I shall be sowing thyme and sage to add to the collection.


Or not really Hutton, but the idea. I think that it is impossible for an inquiry such as the Hutton one to happen in Japan. I suspect that the mechanisms for calling the national braodcaster and the government to account do not exist in this country. So whilst a great many people seem to bemoaning the fact that the inquiry went too far criticising the BBC, or not far enough with the government, perhaps those people should reflect on the fact that it can happen at all.

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