Wednesday, 29 October 2003


Have just found this excellent story and thought I must share it with everyone.
  • Here
  • for the truth...

    Have also added the website to the favourites, check out the swearatron, very useful...

    ...have invaded the basil and have been merrily chomping away! Bastards!

    I don't know, you turn your back for 5 minutes (or two weeks) and the whole thing goes to pot. It doesn't help when your appointed herbacious assistant has a pathological fear of caterpillars and, when I announced from the balcony that I had found one of the little buggers, promptly slammed the door and locked it, refusing to open it (or even turn around) until i had deposited the aforementioned over the side of the balcony. Rex, do you do housecalls in Japan?

    Now back in the swing of working again and my what a pleasure it is to be back. The holiday seems but a distant memory. The suitcase finally arrived on Tuesday afternoon with nothing, it appears, broken. However a spent camera film seems to be missing, so if Parentals or Chard come across a random Jessops film, pass it on, otherwise all the memories I have of the trip will be those haphazardly retained in my alcoholically befugged cerebellum. Either that or Rex or Bert will have to sort out their digital ones and get them emailed across sometime.

    Second half of the holiday passed without apparent incident. I managed to get to London and meet up with Colin, an ex-colleague from Centre People, sounds like the company is doing ok but with the same weird boss with all her hang-ups (like sacking people, for instance). Also spent a day at our London recruitment office, which was good although it was only meant to be a morning. Still, I have claimed a day's less holiday as I consider it a day of work, I even tried to claim overseas daily allowance for it as well, but the boss was having none of it. Lastly I managed to get up to Leicester and meet my MBA tutor, Saeeda, (first assignment returned, I got a 'B' with 67% - 3 more and it would have been an 'A'! - am more than a little proud of this, not to say somewhat surprised) and have a good old chinwag - this after losing all the phone numbers and maps of how to get there, not an auspicious start. Anyway Saeeda didn't really talk (and she likes to talk) about the last assignment, or ideas for the next one, rather she went on about the dissertation, due in 2.5 years time, and then suggested that I start thinking about doing a Doctorate! Well just hold on a minute there, I think I'll just try to plod through the rest of this course before thinking about that sort of nonsense (although was secretly a little flattered).

    Then got back on Friday night and got whammed with Chard and Hugo in the Duke of Devonshire, played a little arrows and beat a couple of locals, which, I suspect, made us bellow. Most impressed with Chard who, along with Bert and Rex, forswore the puffing of fagarettes during the lakes and who managed the whole night in the Duke without the help of one of the little fellas. Nice work, long may it continue.

    Then back home. Just to say that the parting image of blighty was of apparent chaos in the departures hall of terminal 4, which pretty much summed up my experiences of the british transport system whilst back. I mean, it comes to something when the most effective and efficient mode of public transport when back was the train from London to Leicester and back.

    Sunday, 26 October 2003

    Back in Japan

    Easy to deduce from the title what this post is refering to. Anyway, am back home and feeling jet lagged already - heaven only knows what it will be like tomorrow.

    BA lost a whole lot more brownie points this weekend as not only did I not get an upgrade, again, but they endeavoured to leave my suitcase somewhere that isn't Japan. Last seen in Heathrow Terminal 4, said the chap on the desk. Well yes, I know this as it was the last time I saw it as well. And it wasn't just me, perhaps half a dozen people from the same flight we all waiting to fill out forms - they have a permanent 'lost luggage' desk there, for heaven's sake, I didn't see desks for any other airline...

    But that is all I can be bothered to write for today as the backs of my eyes are tired (not a pleasant sensation), not helped by watching England labour to victory over Western Samoa, who had 8 first choice players out and only represented half of the country - as they said in 1991, imagine if we had been playing the whole of Samoa.

    Sunday, 19 October 2003


    Well, BA won't be getting much of my business from now on! No upgrade! Can you believe that? Maybe I should have dropped unsubtle hints like, "give me an upgrade or our business goes elsewhere". Ah well

    This is only a quick one to update everyone. The climbing in the lakes was fantastic. Monday we did the Old man of Conniston again, but actually got to the top this time, after much hard blowing along the way. Tuesday was Helvyllen (spelling?) via Swirral Edge and then across to St Sundays Crags for a really good pull. Wednesday was a local climb around Troutbeck around the valley. Thursday was the big one, from Dungeon Ghyll up to Three Tarns, onto Bow Fell than across the ridge to Esk Pike before dropping down and then climbing up to Sca Fell Pike (we stood on top of the country) and then down via Rhosset Ghyll. The last one was over seven hours and included a lot of hard climbing but was well worth it. Oh, and we got utterly belted every night in preparation.

    Obviously great to be up there with Chard, Bert and Doctor Dog (who starts the new job on monday, good luck). Now back in Clanfield with family and watched England stuff the 'Boks on Saturday. Great stuff.

    More updates to follow soon.

    Friday, 10 October 2003

    I'm off

    Well, not quite yet, but have been to the BA thiung and am a little drunk. anyway, will be off in about 12 hours and be back in blighty not too long after, so see uk people soon.

    dropped very subtle hints this evening so hopefully...

    but will try to update the blog with tales of derring do and getting lost on the old man of conniston whilst in blighty, but you voracious things may have to wait until the end of october for your next installment...

    (unless you are with during the real life installments, but then you won't be there for them all, unless you are a limpet, which i would prefer it if you weren't, i'lls top now i think)

    Tuesday, 7 October 2003

    the little chaps

    Just following up golf-playing-brother's comments on the last post, the little chaps have got a good 30 minutes of sloshing about in their half pint glass apparently.

    Luckily there is no waiting around in Japanese hospitals, so I can do the business, hand the half pint glass (with a bit of clingfilm over the top to stop spillages) relay fashion to Minako as she sprints out the door to her waiting bicycle (sit-up-and-beg style). She then peddles furiously to the hospital and hands to the doc, all in 11.5 minutes - giving ample time for the doc to select the Ian Thorpe's and Mark Spitz's and give them their boost.


    Also, moving on, have just watched the dvd 'bend it like beckham'. Corny, true, but quite good fun and certainly a recommendation if found at a lose end on a Tuesday night in Kawaguchi.

    Only 2 days of work left to go before I get on a plane back to Blighty. And, one thing that I didn't mention before is that BA have given me another onerous task. It is a real hassle, but on Thursday, when I should be in the office until about 9pm finishing everything up before I go, I have to (have to, mind, for the good of the company) leave the office at exactly 6pm and go to seminar/meet and greet/free BA booze up at a swanky hotel in the centre of town. The things I have to do! I will have to sit there and listen to some dry chap waffle on for 45 minutes about planes or something, then immerse myself in free wine and canapes and drop extremely subtle hints along the lines of 'these new first class reclining seats look awfully nice, I wonder if I'll get to see one tomorrow...'

    You can dream.

    Sunday, 5 October 2003


    Was such a beautiful day this week that I took half of it off to masturbate. No really

    It is that time of the month again when Minako tries her hardest to get pregnant (obviously with my, ahem, input). Having tried the usual, and far more pleasurable, method unsuccessfully for the past year or so, Minako decided it was time to take things to the next level, or something like that. So, luckily that meant that I had to come home early from work, on a lovely day let's not forget, and produce a deposit that Minako could take to the hospital which they would then encourage to do the business in some way (stand beside it with a megaphone I suspect).

    This is not the first time I have had this marvellous opportunity. Way back in Spring I had to perform the same solemn duty, that time so the doctor could check the health and vigour of my output (very 'genki' was his assessment). If you have never had to do this, I can assure that it is not that easy especially as the receptacle they give is the size of one of the old straight half pint glasses - quite a feat to fill one of those I suspect! When I aired this view to Minako, she told me not to worry, then, on her return form the hospital, looked me in the eye and told me with a straight face that I had failed to fill the aforementioned flask and wondered if I could try again, this filling the flask at least half full...

    I will not relate the conversation that followed that incident...