Saturday, 30 April 2005

i have a baby son

i still can't quite get my head around this fact

this might well be because he is still with the Guru in hospital and so i get to see them for only about 8 hours a day, then i come home and live a 'real' life (except the Guru isn't here so i get to fart and burp and play loud music to my heart's content (and of those three 'guy' things to do, baby marcus gets congratulated when he does two of them whereas i find only admonishment - this hardly seems fair))

before marcus showed up i had never held a real baby. i had picked up the oddly weighted plastic one in the 'how to be a parent' classes I & II, but when the opportunity had presented itself to pick a real, living and breathing youngster, i had demurred, feeling, well, scared that i should hold, or more likely drop, a child. but when marcus was born and he was whisked out of the labour room with yours truly to be checked by Ms Weights & Measures (he, not i) he was then passed to me as the present parent - the Guru was still on the slab being stitched up, or whatever it is they do to women in japan after they have given birth. and to hold my son suddenly seemed the most natural and complete thing to do. he was where i was at, totally focused..... no, thinking about it that is not wholly true as is was worried about what was happening to the Guru as well, but pretty well focused.

for the last three days i have been to the hospital to visit the Guru and marcus. they are both in there for the mandatory 5 days that japanese mothers and babies get after the birth and visiting hours are about 12 to 8 or so, so i have found myself there for just about all of the time i could. i take my book to read but all i really want to do is be there with the Guru and hold and look at my son, just stare into his face, watching what's going on. i never thought, for the life of me, that babies were that interesting, and they are not, until you get one of your own.

i will write the story of the birth sometime soon, i reckon, but at the moment all i really want to do is sit down and have marcus in my arms. i am, therefore, turning into a soppy git, but somehow this doesn't seem to be too bad a thing.

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